i love how JKR wrote hagrid so much what an amazing character
he was big and strong and gruff and into dangerous things
and he loved baking and being a parental figure and cried openly all the time
i love hagrid so much
There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.
Wears Jump Suit. Sensible Shoes. Uses Husband’s Last Name.
(originally titled “Marked Women, Unmarked Men”) by Deborah Tannen. (via ibt-w)
this is fat hairy man-hating lesbian appreciation post
you know how much pressure there is on girls to be good at every video game they play, because if they fuck up once there’s going to be a heck of a lot of people saying how girls suck and how they shouldn’t play video games
not-very-friendly reminder that when you watch porn you can’t know for sure if the actors were coerced or mistreated or underpaid or if they consented to everything
decidedly unfriendly reminder that there’s a very good chance that the above is exactly what’s going on
and if you continue to consume porn of ANY kind you are accepting this as operating cost
this means so much to me. so much
Okay but like actually this is the most thoughtful gift IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
It might seem to make more sense to give Ron the precious family heirloom (remember that Molly’s brother Fabian died in the First Wizarding War; Molly has held onto his watch out of sentimentality since then). But Ron is the sixth son in his (canonically financially-struggling) family. He’s been forced into hand-me-downs his whole life. If he’d gotten the watch with a dent in the back, he wouldn’t have appreciated it; he’d only have seen the flaw. And if his mum bought Harry a new watch instead of getting Ron one, Ron would have resented that. A new watch was a worthwhile expense to get Ron a rare taste of the luxury and individual attention he has always craved.
Harry, though. Harry has money; Harry has new things. What Harry does not have is family. Harry is an orphan. Other than one photo album and the invisibility cloak, he doesn’t have anything that came with family history attached. What Molly does here is give him that; she makes him part of the family, symbolically, by giving him an emotionally significant if physically imperfect item. She gives him love in a tangible form.
This makes me CRY
Even more sad: Molly didn’t just have one brother. She had two, Gideon and Fabian, and they were twins. They both died in the first war and Fred and George’s names are a deliberate remembrance of them. Molly is overbearing in protecting her sons and keeping them close, but losing her family isn’t an abstract threat to her. It’s something that’s already happened once. And she gives Fabian’s watch to Harry because he’s her kid too. He belongs in her family, and she’ll worry for him too, and fight for him, and afskfhgl I have so many herofeels for Molly Weasely the Supermum.
So many men have internalized the lie that they have uncontrollable sex drives, and no way to control their anger. They aren’t ashamed of their abusive behavior because they see it as a something natural to them and maybe even central to their masculinity. It’s scary as hell.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because ‘I like strong women’ is code for ‘I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.
|—||Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn. (via the-library-and-step-on-it)|
This is why I just can’t get down with Liberal feminism and it’s constantly bending over for anal sexin’ to be sex positive [pun quite fucking intended]….
I absolutely fucking refuse. I should be respected and treated as an equal WITHOUT having to fuck a man, or wanting a man to fuck me, or liking porn…or ANY of that shit.
I shouldn’t have to brainwash myself into wanting to fuck men, liking porn…and then brainwashing myself 2 steps further into thinking any of those things are good and “empowering” for me.
No, no fuck that
(TW: RAPE, ABUSE)
What pisses me off most, is how the liberal feminist sex positive movement almost always tries to silence the voices of rape victims in prostitution (and statistically, most female sex workers are not there by choice) and how anyone whose had a negative experience in the BDSM “non-vanilla” subculture is called “sex-negative” if there dom turns out to (~*~*~*SURPRISINGLY~*~*~) be an actual sadist who gets off on beating and raping them.
These are the #1 reasons I LEFT THE “SEX POSITIVE MOVEMENT.” I won’t reconsider my stance until the sex pozzie libfems start addressing on a LARGE scale the major privilege required to conscientiously choose to be a sex worker (who can leave whenever one so pleases) and also address the massive amounts of misogyny and male privilege of male doms/masters/sadist in the entire BDSM subculture. Male privilege doesn’t suddenly disappear just because something is labelled sexual or erotic (and why the fuck are we still sexualizing male dominance? Like that shit hasn’t been done for how many centuries).
When I said I’d heard all this shit before, that I’d been there and done all that already — this is what I was talking about. When feminists criticize certain aspects of culture (or culture in general), we are speaking from experience: not only our own, but that of so many other women as well.